Men are Honest (story)

Men are Honest (story)
"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"
The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied,"No."
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied,"Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.
Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him,"Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with A beautiful NUN "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked..
"Yes," cried the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The woodcutter replied,"Oh, forgive me, my Lord. Itis a misunderstandin g. You see, if I had said 'no' to the NUN , You would have come up with MY NEIGHBORS WIFE. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife . Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives,so THAT'S why I said yes to the NUN ."
MORAL OF THE STORY: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

Apology

Apology never mean that you were wrong, or the other person was right. It means that your relationship is more valuable than your ego.

An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.

An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications.
(Robert Heinlein - American Novelist)

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
(Robert Heinlein - American Novelist)

Never interrupt your enemy when he's making a mistake.
(Napolean Bonaparte - French Military & Political Leader)

He who permits himself to tell a lie once, finds it easier to do it a second time.
(Thomas Jefferson - Former President of U.S.A.) 

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
(Charles De Gaulle - Former President of French Republic)

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
(Will Rogers - American Humorist/Comedian)

Folks who never do any more than they are paid for, never get paid for any more than they do. 
(Elbert Hubbard - American Writer/Artist)

It’s better to be silent and thought a fool than speak and remove all doubt. 
(Abraham Lincoln - Former President of U.S.A.)

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg. 
(Samuel Butler - Novelist)

Society exists only as a mental concept; in the real world there are only individuals.
(Oscar Wilde - Irish Writer)

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
(Albert Einstein - German Physicist)

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
(George Bernard Shaw - Irish Playwright)

The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew every time he sees me, while all the rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.
(George Bernard Shaw - Irish Playwright)

People tend to forget their duties but remember their rights.
(Indira Gandhi - Former Prime Minister of India)

One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.
(Robert Heinlein - American Novelist)

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed.
(Albert Einstein - German Physicist)

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
(Rich Cook)

What a Come Back

“FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE: We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and

shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?

GENERAL COSGROVE: I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE: I don’t see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE: Well, Ma’am, you’re equipped to be a prostitute,  but you’re not one, are you?

---

Abraham Lincoln was not the most attractive presidents but he was in a sense, almost fascinatingly ugly. During a debate, Lincoln was accused by his more hostile opponent of being two-faced. Lincoln managed to accomplish what few men have done before, he defended himself without insulting the other man, and even poked fun at a flaw of his all in the same sentence. Lincoln calmly turned to the crowd and said:

“If I had two faces, do you think I’d be wearing this one?”

Illiterates of 21st Century

The illiterate of 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who can not learn, unlearn and relearn.
~Alvin Toffler

Milestone

Only thing I like about stones coming my way is that once I cross them, these become my milestones

Warren Buffet Quotes

1. On Earning: Never depend on single income. Make investment to create a second source.
2. On Spending: If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things you need.
3. On Savings: Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving.
4. On Taking Risk: Never test the depth of river with both the feet.
~Waren Buffet